Humorous Romantic Resolutions for 2009 by Miss Know It All

I am not one to make resolutions for the New Year, because within a week, those promises are usually broken. Most people are good at making and keeping pledges when it comes to love and romance. However, I decided to be a contrarian and came up with twelve amusing declarations, which I really plan to execute. You might agree with me and try some of these affirmations. If they work, you can thank me; if they do not, you can still thank me. Have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Resolution No. 1 - I will search and find love and romance in all the wrong places.

Resolution No. 2 - If I meet someone and decide to get married, I will make that person sign a pre-nuptial agreement, but if he asks me to sign one, I will drop him like a hot potato.

Resolution No. 3 - On my wedding day, I will promise to be faithful unless someone better comes along.

Resolution No. 4 - I will always support my true love, even if he flat broke, behind in his child support payments or has no credit history.

Resolution No. 5 - If I find my future husband, I will not lose weight to fit into a wedding dress half my size but will continue to eat junk food as a reward to myself for finally snagging my better or worst half.

Resolution No. 6 - I will not judge a person by his looks but will definitely look at his bank statements.

Resolution No. 7 - I will play the romance card to avoid repaying a loan to my ex.

Resolution No. 8 - If I am in a committed relationship, I will make it clear that what is mine is mine and what is his is mine.

Resolution No. 9 - On my first date, I will talk about all the men who have done me wrong.

Resolution No. 10 - On my first date, I will discuss what type of wedding I desire, how much he should plan to spend on the reception and the number of children I plan not to have.

Resolution No. 11 - I will never do a background check on someone I meet on-line.

Resolution No. 12 - On Saint Valentine's Day, I will send my my ex a greeting card that reads, "Still not missing you."


Miss Know It All Is Here To Help...

Have a question about dating, romance or relationships?
Need advice on finding your soul mate, a lost love?
Wish to know how to add more passion to your love life?

We'll try to provide you with the answer in a fun and humorous way on our One World Singles Blog. Send your questions to Miss Know It All. When sending in questions or inquiries, please include your name, age, and the country where you reside. To participate, you must be over 18 years of age.

Miss Know It All is an affiliate of HMCS and is for entertainment purposes only. The advice or answer given is not a substitute for professional advice and assumes no liability for any damages from the use of the information published on this blog or the reply to any questions submitted. You agree to hold Miss Know It All, its affiliate HMCS and its staff harmless from all costs, including attorney's fees, liabilities and damages resulting from the information published or any reply to such questions or answers.

All questions and inquiries submitted become the exclusive property of HMCS and can be used in any matter and republished in any media without any compensation.

Looking for someone special, check out One World Singles - The coolest place to meet the nicest singles from around the world. All colors, ages (18+) religions, ethnicities and lifestyles. Browse through thousands of profiles, upload your own photo and personal details, see who is online, meet your soul mate and begin having fun!

Copyright 2009 by HMCS. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

10 things to know about internet dating

1. One third of people using online dating services are married, so learn to read between the lines. If your potential date is “separated” but calls you from a mobile only at odd, or set, times, won't give you a landline number, and can't ever seem to meet you on a weekend night, forget it.

2. Talk on the phone before your date. Voice tone and conversational nuances tell you things that e-mail can't.

3. If you don't like what you hear, question whether it is worth meeting. You should bother having face-to-face interactions only with people who have real intellectual, emotional and romantic potential.

4. Meet promising partners sooner rather than later. It will stop you projecting your fantasies on to them. The more you expect, the less likely it is that a person will live up to your expectations.

5. Tread a sensible line between optimism and caution. While there is every reason to believe that your date is a nice, normal person, meet in a public place, tell a friend where you are, carry a mobile phone and never accept a lift home.

6. Avoid bringing your date to your favourite haunts. If things don't work out, he could turn up uninvited at any time.

7. First dates should always take place in daylight. It's safer because there are more people around.

8. And you can see better. Research from Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology shows that about 20 per cent of single dating online daters admit to deception in their physical profile, but if you ask them how many other people are lying, that number jumps to 90 per cent. Nielsen Net Ratings estimates that 33 per cent of online daters lie to some degree. Women tend to be more economical with the truth about their weight, height and age.

9. Sharing an activity rather than a coffee can be an easier way to break the ice, but keep it “kitsch” rather than “competitive”. Go for mini golf, not 18 holes; a trip to the zoo, not a ten-mile run.

10. If your date never returns your calls after meeting you, don't take it as a personal rejection because chances are you've either done the same thing to people you've dated in the past, or will do to people you meet online in the future. The great thing about internet dating is that there really are plenty more fish in the sea, so get back online and start over.

Source: http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5524787.ece

During Your Romantic Entertaining, Add a Touch of Liqueur By Vivienne Diane Neal

Liqueur, a sweet syrupy alcoholic beverage, can add a special touch during your romantic holiday entertaining. Serve it as a dessert, by itself, as a topping over desserts or use it in cooking.

This time, why not make your own liqueur. You will be surprise at the results, and better yet, you will know what is in it. Whether you decide to buy or try your hands at making your own liqueur, enjoy the following recipes to the fullest.

The longer your liqueur is stored, the better it will taste. Moreover, never drink and drive. Be safe and enjoy.

Currant Liqueur

2 cups currant
4 cups brandy
2 cups sugar

Combine all ingredients and stir until well blended. Pour into a glass jug, cover and store for one month or longer. Strain and use currants as a topping over desserts or in cooking.

Orange Cordial

6-8 large oranges
2 cups sugar
2 cups cream sherry

Wash, dry and slice oranges thinly. Place in a glass jar. Sprinkle sugar over oranges and then pour sherry over fruit. Cover and store eight weeks. Shake mixture, occasionally.

Strain off the liquid and store until ready to use. A very light and mild liqueur.

Vivienne Diane Neal is the founder of One World Singles, a dating site for singles of all colors, ages (18+) religions, ethnicities and lifestyles.

She just authored and published her first book “Making Dollar$ and Cent$ Out Of Online Dating.” For more details and ordering information go to Vivienne Neal's Store Front.

The book is available worldwide and online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Singles Socialize - Social Network For Singles

About www.SinglesSocialize.com:

We created this website with you (the single person) in mind. Although you may meet that special someone on www.siglessocialize.com, it is not your traditional “dating” website. We noticed a big change in the dating world and a void online. What we mean by this, is that traditional ways of meeting others is dying and social networking has become so popular, but how about a place where singles can just be single without the pressure of creating ads to sell themselves? Before we created this website we did some research and found lots of other social networking singles sites but they were very niche markets geared towards specific groups. We never found anything that focused just on singles globally. We thought if singles could share information amongst each other around the world, it would be powerful. Our main focus is to create an open forum to multiple levels of human interaction regardless of race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, religion or culture.

Singles Socialize is a free lounge with many features such as:
- Your own Web page
- Your own Blog page
- Access to Members Forum
- Upload Photos & Videos
- Chat to other members live
- Call any member around the world for free via Skype
- Create your own Groups
- Weekly singles newsletters

Check this site out today! JOIN TODAY IT’S FREE!

Dalia

Dalia is a sincere, romatic and sweet 30-year-old Peruvian woman. Meet this woman.

American Singles Talk About Valentine

A survey carried out among a number of singles in America determined that while men prefer not going on a first date on Valentine's Day, women do not mind.

This first date for Valentine’s Day survey was carried out at It’s Just Lunch and it circumpassed over two thousand American singles. This premier dating service for busy singles were surprised to find out that the men seemed more romantic than the women. They came to this epiphany after examining the results that revealed that 41% of men would never go out on a first date on Valentine's day while 62% of women answered that they thought it didn't matter. But in all fairness, this dating site also revealed that 26% of women did add that they would feel a lot of pressure if they did go out the first time on Valentine's day and therefore they would prefer postponing that particular date.

What to really look for in a date

Hello, Loyal Readers. By the time you read this, I will be in Idaho. Or close to Idaho. It’s all the same, really. I am not in Idaho now. I am in my living room, with no pants. I have had a glass and a half of wine and an entire thin crust Paul Newman cheese pizza. I feel like I could eat more. I also wish wine had no scent, so I could put it in a water bottle and drink it the entire time I’m in Idaho. But my family is very religious, and we don’t drink. Also, I have low tolerance. Hence the current lack of pants.

This is a sex and relationship column. Let’s talk about something sex and relationship-y. I was going to write on my speed dating experience, but unfortunately, it has been cancelled. This is the 2nd meet people in person type of event I have signed up for in the name of research (my boyfriend is not overly happy about this) that has been cancelled. Maybe there are only 5 single people in Arizona and all dating service have a hard time getting an acceptable 15. Or, more likely, the organization of these dating event planners sucks. Because really, who grows up and says I want to be an event planner”? (If you have just shouted Me! indignantly at your computer screen, you are in your first year of college. Give it a semester).

Here’s how I used to imagine my speed dating or organized group dating experiences (when I was single):
I’m in a white sundress, which shows off my perfectly toned arms and tan. The room is full of bottle-blonds with excessive lipstick, and I see HIM scanning them all. Then his topaz eyes land on me. I blush and look down, shy. When he gets to my table for our 3-minute date, the first thing he says is You took my breath away. I find out he’s a pediatrician who volunteers for the local fire department on the weekends. He doesn’t even need to work, his family is so rich. We live happily ever after.

Amazing, yes? Disregard the fact that I don’t have a tan, and my upper arms aren’t toned, and dating personals a doctor would probably annoy me because you couldn’t argue with him on what was and wasn’t good for you.

Where do we get this fantasy? It’s the same unbridled hope that springs up at supermarkets when we can only see the back of the guy in front of us in line, and we think What if he’s the one? You know you do this, girls. We all do.

And men, don’t think you’re exempt. You want the fantasy too. You don’t care how it happens, but you want the gorgeous, slim 25 year old that laughs at your every joke and can’t get enough of performing oral sex.

I blame romantic comedies. Or Romanticism in general. Did you ever read Wuthering Heights? That is one screwed up book. Nobody is normal. But it’s romantic. Let me define romantic: you think something should be a certain way because you feel so strongly about it. You think you deserve someone who is, frankly, out of your league, so you won’t settle. (Side note: Men, you are the worst at this. You are really good at calling out where your friend’s lie on the in or out of my league issue, but when you try to do it for yourself, you are pitiful. This is not an opinion; this is a fact. Just letting you know. If you want to know if a girl is out of your league, ask your least tactful male friend. Or heck, your most tactful. Won’t make much of a difference).

If we approached dating as find singles someone who we could get along with while being stranded on a desert island for 5 years, instead of a wish list, we would be better off, I think. Observe:

Wish List:
-Attractive (looks good for your friends and mother)
-Tall (looks good for your friends and mother)
-Good relationship with his mother (well, you know)
-Sensitive (buys you flowers, which impresses your friends and mother)

What I Could Get Along With While Stranded on a Desert Island
-Strong (can built a hut from palm trees, or move your couch)
-Intelligent (knows what the Geneva Convention is and what plants are poisonous)
-Handy (fix the sink, build a boat)
-Tech-y (fix your computer.I don’t know, create some sort of communicating mechanism to the outside world with island products only?)

See? See what long-term benefits you get from focusing on a long-term partnership, as opposed to how things will look? I’ve omitted Good in bed because I feel that would apply to both.

So, while I love Sandra Bullock and Gennifer Goodwin (and don’t get me wrong. I love them both. I would almost kill for them. Also, I’m using parenthesis a lot tonight. Also, there are only four glasses of wine in one bottle. Just so you know), I feel that that the movies they star in represent a fake world that give us fake hopes. Except The Net. That was pretty good and completely realistic.

So forget the romantic comedy. You probably aren’t going to run into your dream man in the grocery store. He probably won’t have every personality trait you hoped for. Men, this goes for you too. Giant breasts are not technically a personality trait.

Give people a chance. You’re probably better off with someone who passes the Desert Island test than someone who fits your Dream Date profile. As my last piece of advice, regardless of the situation, in no circumstances date the guy who does the recap for the different Housewives seasons. He is the most annoying person ever. (Guess what I’m watching now).

Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-8510-Real-Relationship-Examiner~y2009m5d22-What-to-really-look-for-in-a-date

Ekaterina

Ekaterina is an active and straightforward 20-year-old Ukrainian girl. Meet this girl.

Eva

Eva is a lovely, extroveted, open-minded 35-year-old Chinese woman. Meet this woman.

Outstanding Live Psychic Readings by Cherokee Billie

On Saturday May 23, Cherokee Billie will be hosting her own radio program at http://achieveradio.com/cherokee-billie. This is a live call in show where you can ask a psychic question. She will be talking about spirituality, natural medicine, current events, and much more. The time for this program is 1:00 PM Pacific Standard Time/ 4:00 PM Eastern Standard Time. Call-In Numbers 1-888-235-7374; Toll Free – 1-602-412-4949 World Wide. You can listen to the program live at http://www.achieveradio.com from anywhere in the world! On the homepage click on How To Listen, and this will take you into the program live.

The majority of the program will be live telephone readings with a brief interview with Debbie Thomas, creator of AttitudeZapz! Affirmation Jingles. These short, catchy little songs provide a practical in the moment way to reactivate your positive attitude on the fly. Listen on the program as Debbie explains her magical jingles. AttitudeZapz.com. Please join in on this program. This program will be live twice monthly. So please Call-In and make this show a success!

Outstanding Live Psychic Readings
by Native American Psychic Cherokee Billie
www.cherokeebillie.com
1(866)-563-3997

Follow her on Twitter Me! and Facebook

Karen

Karen is a well-educated, respectful, kind, easy going and sincere 24-year-old Colombian woman. Meet this woman.

Special Announcement

Cherokee Billie will be on the radio! Join her on Pathfinder's Way Radio Show with host Skye MacKenna on Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 7:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.

Just go to Pathfinder's Way and call in for a Live Psychic Reading from Her. People can also call in without being on their computers. The call-in numbers are In Phoenix and worldwide - 1-602-412-4949 Toll- free in all 50 states, and in Canada - 1-888-235-7374.

If you are not available for this program, it will be available for you to listen to on her web site at Cherokeebillie.com and also at Pathfinder's Website on the following day.

ideal wife

This 30-year-old Ukrainian just left me without words. Don't blame me. Click here.

María Luisa

Maria Luisa is a hard-working, sincere and charismatic 24-year-old Peruvian girl. Meet this girl.

Featured Books For Your Reading Pleasure

Every year, millions of men travel to Thailand looking for love.

Many fall hard for the women they find and leave behind everything—jobs, houses and families—to start new lives with partners whose language and culture they don’t understand. Unlike Western women, they say, Thai women give them everything they want and need.

Written by Annika & Annabella Ardina, a mother and daughter team of Western journalists who spent a year in Thailand, Men’s Paradise uncovers this sexy mystery. Through hundreds of candid interviews with Western men and couples who have found and lost love, the authors guide you through the thrilling and tragic seduction tactics, dating etiquette, and marriage rules – and the price of love.

20 Thai Bahts of the proceeds of every book sold will be donated to the education programs at the Empower Foundation, a non-profit organization that supports sex workers in Thailand by offering them free pre-college classes.

Link to FREE Kindle application

Link to download the book for $9.90 on Amazon.com


Liquid Sunshine is a weather-shifting story about love, life, and finding the will of God. Narrated in hindsight and filled with wisdom, this story is truly an emotional roller coaster. With all the issues that love and life can bring, it is good to know that there is a purpose and a reason for them all. Jayden Rockaway, a charming senior in college, learns this the hard way when an unwanted third party stands in between him and his unstable Hispanic girlfriend, Lydea Mireina. After falling in love with his gorgeous companion, Jayden begins to regret his relationship more than appreciate it. Balancing school, his job, and his relationship with the Lord, his rain-filled season would ultimately turn out to be the sunshine that would grow him into the mature man that God had intended.

This love story examines the souls of three young adults, and reveals the hidden desires of direction, purpose, and identity. It captures the importance of forgiveness and redemption, showing how God can cause everything to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

About the author: Justin Hart currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. He diligently serves his church and community as a leader, promotes sexual abstinence to singles of all ages, and is devoted to helping others find direction, purpose, and identity. Justin enjoys spending time with his family and friends, reading, and participating in athletics. Please check out his website and drop a line in his guestbook.

Dating Swingers and Victoria Singles - Australia

Victoria Singles and Swingers Dating

Adult dating in Victoria is very common and you can register yourself with a good free dating site and search adult personals of the best swingers, couples and singles dating online. Your search for an ideal sex dating personal should end here at these matchmaking services other wise there are numerous dating events taking place which should help you find the right date. The only thing is that you have to keep the tab of schedules and ofcourse the expense involved. But all is worth if you can land up with a gay guy who could deliver the sexual adventure or romance that you had been wanting all your life.

Dating is life in Victoria and this heart throbing place on earth is full of sexy singles dating and adult swingers. Swingers lifestyle is a well accepted norm in Victoria with plethora of swingers club and party halls spread all over. Though some clubs are exclusive the rest are easliy accessible though the ettiquettes, rules and regulation apply pretty much as the high profile ones.

Explore Victoria's inner city laneways and arcades and find the heart of the labyrinth. Discover opulent bars, eclectic boutiques and fashionable restaurants secreted in alleys and behind non-descript doors. Come equipped with a sense of adventure. Yes perfect place for swinger sex or sex dating with a match of your choice.

Beautiful Woman Seeking Love, Romance and So Much More

Beautiful Brazilian single woman is seeking a good-hearted single man with whom to start a completely new life. I am a nurse and stand 5’ 7” and weighs 130 lbs. I am faithful, caring, understanding, loyal, and easy to get along. My interests are cooking, music, reading, tennis, movies, and traveling. I am ready to put a smile on your face when we are together in the same bed. You are welcome to contact me if you are single. Miss Franklin Arko, PO Box 100, Adoagyiri-Nsawam, Ghana or Email me

If you are seeking marriage, love, dating, companionship, a soul mate, friendship, online romance or just a pen pal, then One World Singles is for you. It is the coolest place to meet the nicest singles from around the world. All colors, ages (18+) religions, ethnicities and lifestyles. Browse through thousands of profiles, upload your own photo and personal details, see who is online, meet your soul mate, conduct instant messaging and begin having fun!

Barbie

She is 18, Ukrainian and she dreams about a wonderful family. Meet this girl.

Helen

Helen is a romantic 23-year-old Ukrainian girl. Meet this girl.

Have Some Online Businesses Become Victims of Their Own Success?
The days of personal customer service seems to be losing some steam with some on-line enterprises. Being too big at the expense of the customer may not guarantee continued success.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1711837/have_some_online_businesses_become.html

Omelice

Omelice is a purposeful and hardworking 21-year-old Ukrainian girl. Meet this girl.

The new cyber-bullying

I'm having mixed feelings about Craigslist lately. I mean, is anyone on Craigslist NOT a murderer anymore? Do not click these links if you're emotionally sensitive (or pregnant), but: Exhibit A. Exhibit B.

But then something comes along that reminds me that Craigslist has a higher calling. Like writing up fake craigslist ads making fun of people you don't like.

Like this. A quote:

"I'm looking for someone to be seen with. Basically.... I look amazing. You look amazing.
We look amazing together. In public. We don't have to actually do anything behind closed doors and I would prefer if we didn't.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, celibacy is next to celebrity.

1. If you use incorrect grammar, just keep your mouth closed. I don't want people to think you're just beauty. (We have to appear to be the total package)

2. You must have had an addiction to one drug at one point in time. Bonus points for H.

3. You must have fucked at least two dozen guys that are 'in a band'. Singers count as two people and if we've already fucked, I counted for twelve."

It goes on from there. It's signed "xoxo Cadaver."

So who do we think wrote this? Cadaver's ex-girlfriend? An anti-scenester? Or just some hater?

Important Announcement

As you can see, our magazine Blog is going through some much needed changes. Many of our partners with whom we exchange links have been removed temporarily. Since we have too many links on our site, we may also have to remove some links permanently to help make our site rank higher in the major search engines.

If our link is on your Blog, but you do not see your link here, the probability is that we have removed your link and you should remove our link from your site or you can contact us at hmcsromanceinternational@juno.com to check the status of your link.

We apologize for any inconveniences this has caused, but if our Blog is to continue, these changes must take place. In the future, we may offer sites the opportunity to advertise on our Blog for a small fee.

Diana

Diana is a funny, sexy, loyal, sincere and persistent 24-year-old Colombian girl. Meet this girl.

Oksana

Oksana is a friendly, kind, honest 19-year-old Ukrainian girl. Meet this girl.

Reyna

Reyna is a young and active 26-year-old Filipino woman. Meet this woman.

The Right Way to Apologize

Rosmira

Rosmira is a sincere, loyal, reliable, responsible, funny and understanding 31-year-old Colombian woman. Meet this woman.

Taking Out The Trash

**Editors' Note: Today's guest post comes in from a gal who knows how to get 'er done. Er something.**

Back in my 'hey day' I was a fun-loving girl looking for a good time. Now, I'm a fun-loving girl looking to get drunk and dance her ass off surrounded by people she knows once every two weeks.

Yeah.

Anyways, back when I was living in Akron, I had a studio apartment on the third floor of a building a couple blocks down from one of my hangouts. Being the 'artistic' type, I hated the fact that I had to lug my garbage down four flights of stairs on a VERY NARROW stairwell, and then walk half a block up to where the dumpsters for our building were. It was winter at this time.

So of course there were about four big black hefty bags full of trash sitting in my extremely tiny kitchen. I couldn't even open the fridge. I didn't let that fact bother me, cause it was Saturday night and it was drinkin' and dancin' time.

At the bar (this one was across town), I proceeded to get very drunk with some acquaintances. I notice, however, this very adorable Skater Boy giving me the eye while he plays pool in the back with his friend. He has sandy blond hair, nice lips, and looks really good in the jeans he was wearing.

We eventually strike up a conversation although for the life of me I cannot remember who said what first. The night goes on, and I say I'm going to head home.

Skater Boy- "Um, did you need some company?"

Me- "Sure, but you have to do one thing for me. If you do that, you can stay the night."

Skater Boy-"Anything!" (sigh, I wish I could hook them in like that nowadays!)

Me- "You have to take all my garbage out."

Skater Boy- "What?!?! You're joking."

Me- "Nope. Deal or no deal."

Cut to Skater Boy looking horribly disappointed when he not only saw how much garbage I had, but where he has to dump it.

But he took that trash out in record time. And he got to stay the night.

All Saints - Under the bridge/Lady Marmalade

1. Lady Marmalade (MARK!'s Miami Madness Mix)
2. Lady Marmalade (Sharp South Park Vocal remix)
3. Under The Bridge (Ignorants remix featuring Jean Paul e.s.q.)
4. Get Bizzy

Meredith Brooks - Bitch

1. Bitch (Edit)
2. Bitch (Transistor Mix)
3. Bitch (Madgroove Mix)
4. Bitch (E-Team Funky Bitch Edit)

East 17 - Around the world

1. Around The World (Our World Master 7")
2. Around The World (Overworld Vocal)
3. Around The World (N.E.W.S. Mix)
4. Around The World (Global House)
5. Around The World (P & C Mix)

The Braxtons - The Boss

1. The Boss (Kenlou Radio Mix)
2. The Boss (Kenlou Mix)
3. The Boss (Masters At Work Album Mix)
4. The Boss (Masters At Work Dub)
5. The Boss (Reprise)

Fatboy Slim - Praise You

1. Praise You
2. Sho Nuff
3. The Rockafeller Skank (Mulder's Urban Takeover Remix)

Carla

Carla is a 29-year-old woman with many goals in life. Meet this woman.

Björk - Violently Happy

1. Violently Happy (Fluke (Even Tempered))
2. Violently Happy (Massey Mix (Long))
3. Violently Happy (Masters At Work 12")
4. Violently Happy (12" Vocal)
5. Violently Happy (Fluke (Well Tempered))
6. Violently Happy (Massey (Other Mix))
7. Violently Happy (Vox Dub)

2 Unlimited - Faces

1. Faces (Edit)
2. Faces (X-Out Remix)
3. Faces (Trance-Aumatic Remix)
4. Faces (Automatic Breakbeat Remix)
5. Faces (Original Version)

Sonalie

Sonalie is a very understanding and kind 25-year-old Filipino lady. Meet this lady.

Isabel

Isabel is a loving and understanding 26-year-old Costa Rican girl. Meet this girl

Online Dating Instant Translator

So, I'm looking through old documents, trying to finish some old article ideas I started, when I came across this old CL post--composed as a retort to some similar piece of crap designed to translate women's false descriptions of themselves on dating sites. Yeah, yeah, some men tell the truth on the sites. Maybe some do. But if they do, you can chalk it up to a twist of fate. And, yeah, women exaggerate a little on these things. But what's good for the goose . . ..


Guide for Decoding Men's Personal Ads:

42......................................................62.
Adventurous...................................Unemployed.
Athletic............................................Jock itch.
Average looking..............................Weeping sores, chubby, toothless, etc.
Thinning hair...................................Bald as a cue ball.
Self-employed……...........................Unemployed.
Handsome, I guess..........................I guess NOT.
Centered, Buddhist.........................Right fuckin' nuts.
Knows how to please a woman......Can't sustain an erection.
Likes to please her first..................Can't sustain an erection.
Spiritual............................................Can't get an erection.
Likes petite women.........................Teeny-weeny wienie
Wants to find true love....................Wants to get into your pants.
Friendship first.................................Wants to get into your pants.
Misses being married......................Still in love with his ex/wants to get into your pants.
Nature lover.....................................Homeless/lives under an overpass.
Stocky...............................................Beer belly/manboobs.
Unconventional...............................Think giant silk undies and size 13 heels.
Looks younger than he is...............Delusional and legally blind.
Free thinker.....................................g-g-g-gay.
Open-minded..................................Desperate.
Outgoing...........................................Loud and Embarrassing.
Good sense of humor......................Laughs at all his own jokes.
Good businessman..........................Cheap as dirt.
Professional......................................Unemployed lawyer (trust me).
Big guy..............................................Tall and enormously fat.
Large frame......................................Think Chris Farley's grandpa.
Wants Soul mate..............................Stalker.
Seen the world..................................You could be woman #763!!!
Loves to travel..................................He's moving on in a hurry.
Intellectual.........................................IQ just above room temperature.
Separated...........................................Married.
Divorced.............................................Separated.
Single...................................................Involved
5' 10"...................................................5' 7"
6' 4".....................................................7' 2"
5' 7".....................................................Leprechaun/Tattoo/Gary Coleman

Tatiana

Tatiana is a big dreamer. She's 28 and she's from Ukraine. Meet this girl.

Numbers

*** many thanks to c.vance for sending us this post ****


this is a story of love in numbers.

541 815.3504--- that's my number. used for a great many things.

some women have it programmed into their phone because they know i'm the only one always awake at 03.00; ready with colorful slurs or flattering lies.

some women have it programmed into their phone because they know i'm always awake between 02.00 and 04.00-- when the bars are closed and the only friends i have are cuddled next to people they love --and the flashing ring of my name lets them know no one has died, no one is in trouble... it's a displayed WARNING! HAZARDOUS IF OPENED on the screen of their flip phone. reminders of mistakes made and a lesson learned: never give your number to a drunk.

some acquaintances have used it to ask for $500 bail and a ride out of the cop shop.

some acquaintances have used it to ask for help moving because they fear the man they're moving away from--- standing by the door at 6'3" 200 lbs. to watch over her moving everything, staring down the X and not helping because of a hangover, a bad back and temper waiting for ignition.

most often it is used by creditors asking for $1.000's i don't have.

but, 3 weeks ago, it was used in a new way. it adorned the bottom of a flyer tacked to the middle of a bulletin board at PleasureWorld; a porn shop on 3rd street.

the 1st call was a weekend night-- 02.14 --from a man who had a restricted number and a gruff voice; one of those voices that calls Craigslist adverts looking to buy $5 refrigerators to compliment the other 4 in his yard. either a redneck or a classically trained actor schooled enough to fool these ears bred from South Carolina stock and born in Prineville. called to say:

-Yeah, I'm calling about the add you posted 2 days ago.

-I didn't post an add 2 days ago. You have the wrong number.

not given any thought until the 2nd call, 3 days later, at 16.14. a young man lisped sexual propositions into my phone. graphic; but with a trembling voice that sometimes squeaked. responded:

-I'm flattered, sweetheart, but I think you dialed the wrong number.

-Oh. Oh my Guh-a-od. Stho you din't postht that 1 add?

-What 1 add?

-Oh... I'm stho embarathed. Y'know, that 1 add? At PleaschthureWorld?

-Nope. I don't know. What did that 1 add say?

-Oh. Jezthus. I'm sthO sthorry. It... uhm. It sthaid, "20-sthomething man stheeking company. I'm diztheasthe free but you don't have to be." I'm sthorry, I thought---

-That's funny. And explains the call I got 2 nights ago.

-Oh. Did you... do you know hith number?

that's where i hung up. dialed 411 where a Southern operator told me i had the wrong city and state for DisneyWorld and there were no listed amusement parks in the area. only after spelling it out and yelling:

-It's a porn shop on 3rd street.

did she transfer me to a computer telling me it would dial 5.4.1. 3.1.7.9.7.2.3. for an additional $382.13 or 4 Euros. a woman stopped the ringing by answering with the business name in a voice that made me hope she had good penmanship. said:

-My phone number is 541 815.3504 and I believe someone posted an add down there as a prank. Maybe on a bulletin board?

-Let me see. 3504. 3504. 35--- oh. Yes. Here it is. So, even though this is your number, you didn't post it?

-Yep. Even though it is my number. Can you read it to me?

-Sure. It says, "NEED DICK NOW!" That part is all capitalized. Then it says, "Neat, clean-cut mid-20's male seeks 8" black cock. White cock OK if larger. I'm disease free but you don't need to be. Call: (541) 815-3504." Then it says, "P.S. I'm a bottom." So, you didn't post it? Even though it is your number?

-I did not post it. Even though it is my number.

-Oh. Okay then. I'll take it down. Oh! You know what? I bet 1 of your friends did it! Y'know? To be funny?

-I only have 2 friends and they're... hm. Of a different humor, let's say.

-Oh. Then who would have had your number, then?

this was a story of love in numbers. 541 815.3504 is mine. if you were kind enough to post an advert trying to find me sweet man loving, let me have your number to properly thank you

Pet Shop Boys - So Hard (David Morales Mixes)

1. So Hard (12'' Mix)
2. So Hard (Radio Mix)
3. So Hard (Red Zone Mix)
4. So Hard (Eclipse Mix)
   

One night stand gone wrong

Most women have the occasional low self-esteem low points. Some women live in that space chronically; we call that having “daddy issues.” One of my worst low points wasn’t daddy related, it was wicked painful breakup related.

I went out solo one night, just because I couldn’t stand to be at home alone another night. My cats were starting to look at me like, “Girl, get the fuck out of here, you’re depressing us, and we’re cats. We always mope.”

So I was sitting alone at the bar, and in walks Chester. He looked vaguely familiar, and when he started talking to me, he told me why. Apparently he and I worked together, or at least for the same company. But we were in different departments, on different floors. We’d never met before, so we chatted for awhile, mostly about work.

No point getting into the nitty gritties here, you guys know where this is going. I got drunk. We made out in the park, we went back to his place. We fucked.

The thing is, he had a nice body. Tall, lean, strong, and, well, nice machinery. So in the morning, when he felt randy again and my head was still swimming in Coors Light and Jaeger bombs, I let him go for it again, and he got me off, again.

Then I looked around as morning filled the room, and memories started coming back to me. There, on the wall, was the picture of his daughter. She looked like maybe she had a touch of the down’s Syndrome. There, on the nightstand, was a photo of his girlfriend. She had Sally Jesse Rafael glasses. There, on another wall, was a poster: A wolf on a cliff, howling at a purple moon. And the thing is? I knew it wasn’t ironic.

I remembered how, the night before, he kept calling me sweetheart and asking if I was OK, if I was comfortable. In my wastedness, I giggled at him and asked why, “Well when an angel falls into your lap, you have to do what you can to hold on.”

As all this flooded back, all I could think was Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

So then he rolls over and tries to go down on me, again, which, I admit, I have a hard time turning down, but as sobriety reared its ugly head, I just needed out. I pushed him off, told him I needed a ride home.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? What happened?” he asked. I cringed when I looked over and saw his awful bowl cut. I remembered that he’d been wearing a Doors T-shirt last night. Tucked in.

Jesus Christ.

“I’m sorry, I just need to go,” I said, tearing around his room looking for clothes.

We got in his El Camino (I am NOT making this shit up). He drove me home. In the driveway, he paused, and seemed about ready to ask a question.

“So,” I said, “I don’t think we need to, like, talk about this. And I really don’t need you to tell anyone at work.”

“What, really? Just one night? That’s it?”

I felt like I was the man. And what I wanted to say was: “One night stand, pal, what do you think that means?”

What I said was: “Chester, you have a girlfriend.”

He nodded, but then tried to tell me again that they were on the outs.

“Nope, I’m sorry. I’ll see you around. Bye.”

I still see him at work from time to time. In the parking lot, or in the hallway. I try to avert my eyes, or just say, “hello,” in the exact same tone I use with all the people I don’t know, but he always smiles brightly. Wistfully, even.

I wonder if he’s told anyone sometimes. But then I think that even if he did, they probably wouldn’t believe him.

State of the Date Report

An online dating service rarely discussed swinger in the news is making a splash with the release of its first annual "State of the Date" report.

Engage.com is an online teen dating service that uses friends and an online social environment in order to match people together. This week, Engage.com released the results of a major survey it did on the attitudes of singles.

The survey found that...

- 68% of singles are interested in falling in love and getting married in the next five years.

- 12% of singles believe it is appropriate to break up with someone via email or text message.

- 21% of singles think it is acceptable to first say "I love you" via email or text message.

- 30% of men believe it is OK to tell "little white lies" in their online dating profile.

- 24% of women believe it is OK to tell "little white lies" in their online dating profile.

- 22% of singles didn't go on a date in 2007.

- 49% of single women say they never have to pay for a date.

- 10% of singles say they dated someone last year that was either married or in a committed relationship.

For the survey, more than 600 adult swingers in the United States were selected at random. Engage.ciom plans on releasing a new report every year.

Source: http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/news2008/stateofthedate.html

Looking for:

Looking for this:
1. B.en L.iebrand - Grand Mix Summer Edition 3 CD

Vicarious sex

Not getting any, but have an active fantasy life? Or do you like the idea of porn, but think all that ACTUAL humping is a little freaky? Check out this hipster fad, AIR SEX competitions. It's exactly what it sounds like.

This video is not work safe:



I know a lot of our readers are Oregonians, so how lucky are we that Portland is hosting its very own Air Sex competition this Saturday night at Berbatis. Please go, take video, and send it our way. Because that shizz is hilarious.

Savage - Don't Cry Tonight

1. Don't Cry Tonight
2. Don't Cry Tonight (Instrumental Version)
3. Don't Cry Tonight (Rap In The Night) (Remix '89)

How to Check Out Indian American Singles

Attempting to help American singles find love, the popular marriage portal for Indian singles launched a way to verify the profiles of other singles.

BharatMatrimony.com has named this new system, Veriprofile, and it will help all Indian American singles check that what other singles write about themselves is true. This service is a combination of an online and offline system and it can be accessed at the major Indian cities.

How Does it Work?

1. Click on the link named Veriprofile near the profile of particular Indian American single you are interested in checking out.
2. The system will then contact that single and tell them that someone wants to verify their profile. Note that your identity will not be handed over.
3. They will then have to agree or disagree. If they disagree, you receive an answer that those singles are not interested in their details being checked. But If they agree, they are sent to fill out their details on an online form.
4. Bharat Matrimony's Verification Agency checks out these details and you will receive an answer in up to seven days. Note that both Indian American singles will receive the report.

Who is Bharat Matrimony?

They are one of the more popular online dating services that cater to Indian singles. Their reach is vast and they have fourteen regional portals as well as more than two million of registered singles. You will be able to find Indian American singles but also other Indians interested in marriage.

Sandra - Hiroshima

1. Hiroshima (Single Version)
2. Hiroshima (Extended Version)
3. Hiroshima (Dub Mix)
4. Heaven Can Wait (US-Remix)

Seduction - The Re-Mixes

1. (You're My One And Only) True Love (The Vocal Club Mix)
2. (You're My One And Only) True Love (New York House Mix)
3. Two To Make It Right (The Cole / Clivilles Club Mix)
4. Two To Make It Right (The Hip House Vocal Mix)

Free Online Dating Service at Social Networking Sites

Here are a few suggestions how you can use the power of social networking sites to expand your potential dating contacts.
1. Use a chat room - All these kinds of sites will have a chat feature, chat rooms or one on one chat online, is a great way to make that initial contact in a safe anonymous way, and a way in which you can decide who is interesting to you and which contacts you may wish to take further.

2. Form or join an interest group - On your chosen dating site there will be groups of people with special interests that you can join and meet up with like minded people online, and if there isn't one that you like you can always start your own.

3. Explore friendship first - When you find people with whom you feel compatible it doesn't always mean you will be compatible for romance. If you start with the attitude that you are just trying to connect with new people, many of your contacts may turn into great social acquaintances or friends. By not ruling people out, just because you don't see that instant romantic spark, you will truly enhance your social life and who knows things can change and it may lead you to that special someone.

4. Be polite and open minded - It is possible you will receive a message from another member that you feel is not worth taking the time to write a response. If you take that extra couple of minutes to write a short reply, you never know where that contact may lead. It is possible that by being open minded, that other member could prove to be helpful by introducing you to someone else, or by helping you network for career advancement. You never know, so it never hurts to be polite.

Social networking sites are great places to meet new people, do not be too focused on meeting a romantic partner Keep an open mind, and use the comprehensive features available on the site ou will will expand your social network. Who knows where that will lead, have fun! First dates are expected to be fun, exciting and with the atmosphere of just getting to know the other person better. It should not be a time to rigidly screen the other person if he is the perfect match for you, so it is important to carefully pick dating conversation topics that will not ruin the date. Of course, who will not get excited with a first date? You have probably spent hours to do your hair, carefully select what dress you will be most attractive on, or tried on a different perfume.

The guys probably spent a lot of time in front of the mirror. Then when you finally sit face to face on the dinner table, he would suddenly comment about the last time he and his ex-girlfriend visited that restaurant - that could be the end of it. There are actually lots of things that you can talk about on the first date. You can talk about hobbies, about what happened during the day or you can feast on some issues about celebrities. Most often, it just takes a little common sense to know the good dating conversation topics, and those that are not really appropriate as well.

However, if you want to be reminded of this deadly dating conversation topics that should be avoided on your first date, you might want to refresh your memory on the no-no's on your first date. The obvious topics that you should not bring up on your first date include racist comments or jokes, religion, politics (could be too serious and boring for a date), gruesome topics like rape, death or torture. Of course, this should be first on the list. Do not start the evening by telling her about the last time you were in that restaurant with your ex. Forget about your past lovers. Do not think your date will be proud if you talk about who you went out with and how many.

Also avoid any discussions on sex. There are lots of things you can ask your date other than this. Also avoid telling your date about some problems at work or some financial problems you had. First dates are suppose to be fun. Do not also attempt to bring out topics about how much money one makes. You can ask about jobs but forget about probing into their pocketbooks. Hobbies and interests are good online dating conversation topics during the first date but do not anymore bring up topics that are understood only by a few people or those highly specialized topics like that latest version of computer games you had or that sci-fi movie. Aside from the topics that you should avoid talking about on your first date, there are also things that you should avoid doing on the first date. Saying 'I love you' on the first date could be a big turnoff. If you are a business-minded person, forget about selling your product to your date, and even if first dates are meant to be in a getting-to-know-you stage, do not talk too much about yourself and what you have achieved in life. In dating, it is important to listen as well.

Sorces : MyFoxOrlando.com

Spice Girls - Wannabe

1. Wannabe (Radio Edit)
2. Bumper To Bumper
3. Wannabe (Vocal Slam)
4. Wannabe (Dub Slam)
5. Wannabe (Dave Way Alternative Mix)
6. Wannabe (Instrumental)

Regarding Fatties

Dear Serial Monogamist,

So, I've entered the wonderful world of internet dating (and yes, I know, I should submit something of my own to DIW and I will do so after having a few liaisons under my belt). Anyway, so far so blech. Not a lot out there on the interwebs, at least not on the sites I've visited.

Anyway, I've gotten a few conversations going and then asked for a pic. Upon receipt of said pic, I've immediately been, like, "nope." I want to be really clear, and I'm not into lying, so in my next email I say "I just don't see it. Good luck to you." Since you're a member of the fairer sex, what do you think about how I'm responding? Yes, its entirely based on their uglyness, or extreme fat-itude, but oh well. I'm not just looking to date a nice person, I also want someone at least somewhat hot and I'm not going to pursue anything with people that aren't at least a 7 out of 10 on my personal scale.

Thanks,

Mr. Rodgers

Dear Mr. Rodgers,

OK, let’s start out with some linguistics.

I think you would be well-advised to be careful about using terms like “the fairer sex.” You know, like, um, EVER.

See, Fred, I know you’re not trying to get into my panties, at least not at the moment, but nonetheless, “The fairer sex?” I mean, when you use language like that, you’re likely to come off sounding like either:

A) That jerkoff with a goatee who tries to sound all ironic all of the time but who really just ends up giving away in a sarcastic, “who really believes this garbage?” tone what it is that he really thinks of women, namely, that we’re hyper-sensitive, weak-willed, and prone to hysteria (which, if you’re dipping your hairy little toes in internet dating, you’re only MORE apt to believe)

B) Some sort of renaissance fair guy who is, at this very moment, wearing crushed velvet pantaloons and drinking something you call “grog” that is really only apple cider mixed with Monarch rum, a guy who thinks it’s sexy to talk down to women so that it'll be this big fucking surprise later when you admit you just want to get tied up in a dungeon somewhere, but: Hey! It's no shocker! Your cat is named Azrael! We saw this one coming, dude.

or C) Some guy who just trying his honest-to-joe-sixpack-best to make a throwaway joke.

Even if the answer’s C, why’s it worth the risk of being seen as A or B? It’s not. I guess the moral of this particular rant is this, Freddie: Don’t talk down to me as an opener. Which, I guess, brings us on to the current topic.

Don’t string the fatties and the uggies along. There are dudes out there who can, and will, love some bigole chubba rolls and even a brilliant goddess with a cleft palate.

But: It ain’t you, babe. If you really feel bad about telling them off just after you get the photo, then try to get one more email with content out of them, and then suggest it’s something in that email that turned you off their fatty-ugg-ass-scent.

She’ll know anyway. But why put you both through the awkwardness of the in-person meetup before turning them down for being such hags? It’s painful, it’s pointless. Let their humiliation be electronic.

You also never said whether or not you were attractive. Maybe all you have to do is send a pic of yourself back to the ug-trons. Maybe then you’ll be the one getting the “yeah, I don’t see it, good luck,” e-mails.

Stranger things have happened in this neighborhood.

Love,
Serial

Got a question for Serial Monogamist? Just want to tell her to shut the crap up? E-mail her at seriallymonogamous[at]gmail[dot]com.

Or not. Who needs you?

Handy chart

Thanks, interwebs, for this handy chart. Good thing to keep in the ole nightstand.

Online Single Dating Free Personals Match

With a plethora of choices available on any given online dating site, it may seem the potentials are endless, at least until you meet in person. Online dating is a billion dollar business. And it is estimated that as many as 30% of singles use such sites.
After reading through one profile after another, free personals might be tempted to give less time evaluating qualities that would make a fit. Until you meet in person, there are characteristics, good and bad, that become more apparent in conversation.
That’s where virtual dating comes in. Designed to mimic an online single, virtual dating simulates a dating atmosphere and music while the couple involved interact via avatars. Many of the logistics of an online dating site are similar, but a single picks an avatar and asks another single of interest on a virtual date. On the date, the couple chooses the setting, the music and games. They converse via messages that pop up on the screen.

Without leaving the comfort of home, one can concievably go through the first date jitters and awkwardness without worrying about dress, who pays, or having something stuck in one’s teeth. Wondering about the goodnight kiss? Will there be one? The avatars can apparently do that too.
One single dating site, Omnidate.com , cites a study that suggests couples that meet via the virtual date are more likely to have successful dates when they meet in person.
The availability of virtual dating may extend to other popular online dating sites in the future.

Source: examiner.com/
For Latest News Visit : www.internetdatingpersonals.blogspot.com

A day in Jami's Dating World.

We're not sure who Jami is, but this guest post suggest that while she may attract a-holes, she doesn't suffer them patiently. Enjoy.





Holy Fucking Shitballs.

Let's do a little preface here.

NEEDY GUY is, you guessed it, a little needy. He seems starved for attention. Spoiled even. He's a very attractive guy - so maybe he is used to women saying "yes" to him all the time.

My life is not some empty hole with countless lonely days and nights. Sorry. I have wonderful friends who, for some reason, like to spend time with me on the weekends. I book up quickly - so uh, put your request in early.

I have strict rules about going out during the week and I refuse to allow any guy into my home if they do not know my son. He does not need to see a new guy with mommy every 2 weeks.

So, Needy Guy ....

He wanted to take me out on a date. Great! Yes, I would love to go out. Problem is, he would wait and ask me on Friday night to go and do something ON Friday night. **Sigh** Sorry, I have plans already. Now, when I would tell him this his immediate response would be, "If you liked me, you would make time for me."

I'm sorry, man, I don't know you and I will not cancel plans for you. You should've called me earlier in the week like any other person with any sense would have done.

Then he asks to come to my home ... on a Wednesday afternoon. Sorry. No. I tell him my "rules." Oh, well, this in unacceptable to him. How can I be telling him "no"? Can he come over after my son is asleep? No.
Can I break my rules this one time? No.

I need you all to keep in mind that all of this "communication" is through TEXT MESSAGE. This guy had yet to call me.

The last straw for me was about a month ago. He asked if I would like to go do something. I explain to him that this weekend is my weekend with my son, so no, I can't do anything. On the Saturday of that weekend he sends me a text, asking me what I was up to. I tell him that I'm at my friend’s house. He gets angry. He thought I couldn't do anything that weekend. I always make time for other people but not for him.

Whoa. Whoa-day. Hun, I'm with my son. I'm not partying it up. I then go off on him telling him that he's too needy and seems to always want to argue and I'm not interested in drama queens. I also tell him to screw himself b/c he had yet to fucking call me.

He disappears. Thank you baby Jesus.

Then, about two weeks ago HE CALLS ME! What?! He does know how to use a phone. We have good conversation. He seems to understand the whole situation now. Great.

He then asks if he could take me out. I was free Saturday, so I say "Yes." We decide that he'll pick me up around 7. Great.

(Well, not really. I wasn't looking forward to it b/c he had started to show his "needy" qualities again....)

He sends me a text around 4:30p on Saturday to tell me that he has to cancel because he has a funeral to go to the next day out of town.
Yay!! I don't have to go through with this! I had an easy way out. I decide that I will make a trip to my grandmother's bar. Free tab.

On my way to said bar and Needy Guy calls. "What are you doing tonight?"
Me: Well, I'm on my way to [city where bar is located]
NG: Oh, you going to that bar?
Me: Yup.
NG: Well, would you mind if I went meet you. I don't think I'm going to stay in [out of town location] tonight.
Me: Uh, yeah, I guess. I don't mind.
NG: Ok, cool, I'll be there in about an hour.
Me: K.

Two hours later he hasn't shown up. Now, keep in mind that I'm not really worried about it. I'm having a great time. I know 80% of the people at the bar and I'm enjoying myself. But, out of curiosity, I text him asking him if he decided not to come.

He calls.

NG: Hey, you still at the bar?
Me: Yup, you not coming?
NG: Yeah, I'll be there in a bit.

:: we hang up ::

One minute later he calls again

NG: Hey, are you drunk? Buzzed? Or just feelin’ good?
Me: Huh? I don't know ... I'm feeling good. I haven't drank enough to be drunk.
NG: Oh ok. Well, you wanted to stay there or would you like to go back to my house and watch a movie?
Me: Don't you live in [town very far away]?
NG: Yeah
Me: Uh, I don't feel comfortable going to your house...or [far away town] It's way out of my way. Why don't you want to come here?
NG: That's fucked up. You would rather hang out at a bar instead of hang out with me?
Me: Well, it's not really that - I just don't want to go to all the way to your house. We can hang out here.

::Silence::

I hang up.

He calls back

NG: I KNOW YOU JUST DID NOT HANG UP ON ME!!
Me: Um, no. I thought I lost connection.
NG: So, you're gonna stay there instead of hanging out with me?
Me: Yeah. You cancelled. I made other plans.
NG: That’s fucked up.
Me: [Needy Guy] look, I'm having a good time and you calling me acting like this is ruining it. I don't need some kind of guilt trip.
NG: Why am I ruining it? Because you're a BITCH?! HUH? YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!

That's my cue to hang up. Psycho.

He immediately sends this text:

"U know what fuk u, u wanted to hangout in [TOWN] but now u dont, u are a fukin bitch"

Wow, man did I mess this one up, huh? Some lucky girl out there will eventually land this winner.
I'm so glad that I didn't go anywhere with this guy.... I would probably be shoved in some deep freezer by now...

Steps to Take When a Child or Relative Moves into Your Home
Whether it's your son, daughter or a distant relative moving into your home, be consistent. If a person breaks any of the rules you have set forth, there should be no second chances.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1850233/steps_to_take_when_a_child_or_relative.html

Gala - Suddenly

1. Suddenly (Radio Edit)
2. Suddenly (Molella And Phil Jay Baby Mix)
3. Suddenly (Abum Version)
4. Come Into My Life (MPJ Hammond Remix)

On staying friends with exes

If you stay in touch with your ex, if you try to be friends, you still have to be careful. From time to time, in an otherwise friendly chat, you might find yourself having this conversation:

“So, how was your weekend?” he asked.
“Really fun, I hung out with [list of mutual friends].”
“Oh, really? It was fun?”
“Yeah, [male mutual friend] cracked me up all day long.”
“Huh, you and [said male mutual friend] get along now?”
“Um, yeah. When didn’t we?”
“Oh, well he talked some serious shit when we broke up.”
“He did, eh. Really? Like what?”
“Oh, just what a fucking bitch you were all the time. I was all, ‘Whatever. I don’t care what you think.’”
“Huh. Awesome. Thanks for sharing.”

Daft Punk - One More Time

1. One More Time (Short Radio Mix)
2. One More Time (Radio Edit)
3. One More Time (Club Mix)

D.J. Bobo - Everybody

1. Everybody (Radio Version)
2. Everybody (Floor Mix)
3. Let Yourself Be Free
4. Everybody (First Edition)

Diana - I will survive

1. I Will Survive (Album Version)
2. I Will Survive (Motiv 8 Radio Edit)
3. I Will Survive (Roger Sanchez Radio Edit)
4. I Will Survive (Sure Is Pure Vocal Mix)
   

Basement Jaxx - Fly life

1. Fly Life (Brix Radio Edit)
2. Fly Life (Brix Mix)
3. Fly Life (Roni Size "Flyzs" Mix)
4. Fly Life (Erick "More" Dub)
5. Fly Life (Cajmere Green Velvet Mix)
6. Fly Life (Original Mix)