Homeo and Juliet

Juliet sent us this snippet of an IM chat between herself and her husband. Names have been changed to protect their identities. Being married really is a little weird.



9:36 AM: Homeo: Hello

9:45 AM Juliet: Hola!

9:49 AM Homeo: How is your morning?

9:56 AM Juliet: Great! How's yours?

10:02 AM Homeo: Good. - I have my pedicure today at 3:30. Can you get the boys, or I can get them after

10:02 AM Juliet: Whatever. I'll pick them up.

10:03 AM Juliet: Just so you know, you have to live with the results of using my waxing budget to pay for your pedicure.

10:04 AM Homeo: Actually, it’s my pedi budget. I use my own money for the pedi, I don't touch your beauty budget including waxing, cuts and color. Also, if you consider how much money I saved over the last 8 months not having to get a haircut, I am totally in the black

10:04 AM Juliet: whatever. Pedi whore.

10:05 AM Homeo: Just cause I care about my feet. Not my problem you choose to have grungy feet.

10:05 AM Juliet: FU! My feet are not grungy.

10:06 AM Homeo: How about scaley?
10:06 AM Homeo: Lizard like?

10:07 AM Juliet: My feet are fine. I take very good care of them.

10:07 AM Homeo: I know you do. You’re the one who called me a pedi whore. You started it!

10:07 AM Juliet: Well, just know that if not for your pedi, I'd have a nice bush.

10:08 AM Homeo: The two are mutually exclusive. Go take care of your bush, I don't care. I'm not asking you to pay for my pedi. This leaves you bush money

10:09 AM Juliet: I guess I should say bush bucks.

10:10 AM Homeo: I dare you to tell [REDACTED CO-WORKER] about this conversation

10:11 AM Juliet: No way - plus he's not even here.

10:11 AM Juliet: I'll tell [REDACTED CO-WORKER #2] though

10:12 AM Homeo: I figured that. She'll think it’s funny - and probably take your side

10:15 AM Juliet: Damn straight she'll take my side! There's only so much salon money to go around, my spendthrift friend, and you are wasting it on your toes when it could be used to maintain more important regions.

10:16 AM Homeo: My feet are very important - I'm on them almost all day. Also, its not my fault you won't shave or try some home remedy that might cost less.

10:16 AM Juliet: (stony silence)

10:17 AM Homeo: I have to go [REDACTED VERB INDICATING PROFESSION]. I'll talk to you soon. Love ya.