drugstore.com, inc. (sexual well being Program)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Braxtons - The Boss


  1. The Boss (Kenlou Radio Mix)
  2. The Boss (Kenlou Mix)
  3. The Boss (Masters At Work Album Mix)
  4. The Boss (Masters At Work Dub)
  5. The Boss (Reprise)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Online Dating Instant Translator

So, I'm looking through old documents, trying to finish some old article ideas I started, when I came across this old CL post--composed as a retort to some similar piece of crap designed to translate women's false descriptions of themselves on dating sites. Yeah, yeah, some men tell the truth on the sites. Maybe some do. But if they do, you can chalk it up to a twist of fate. And, yeah, women exaggerate a little on these things. But what's good for the goose . . ..


Guide for Decoding Men's Personal Ads:

42......................................................62.
Adventurous...................................Unemployed.
Athletic............................................Jock itch.
Average looking..............................Weeping sores, chubby, toothless, etc.
Thinning hair...................................Bald as a cue ball.
Self-employed……...........................Unemployed.
Handsome, I guess..........................I guess NOT.
Centered, Buddhist.........................Right fuckin' nuts.
Knows how to please a woman......Can't sustain an erection.
Likes to please her first..................Can't sustain an erection.
Spiritual............................................Can't get an erection.
Likes petite women.........................Teeny-weeny wienie
Wants to find true love....................Wants to get into your pants.
Friendship first.................................Wants to get into your pants.
Misses being married......................Still in love with his ex/wants to get into your pants.
Nature lover.....................................Homeless/lives under an overpass.
Stocky...............................................Beer belly/manboobs.
Unconventional...............................Think giant silk undies and size 13 heels.
Looks younger than he is...............Delusional and legally blind.
Free thinker.....................................g-g-g-gay.
Open-minded..................................Desperate.
Outgoing...........................................Loud and Embarrassing.
Good sense of humor......................Laughs at all his own jokes.
Good businessman..........................Cheap as dirt.
Professional......................................Unemployed lawyer (trust me).
Big guy..............................................Tall and enormously fat.
Large frame......................................Think Chris Farley's grandpa.
Wants Soul mate..............................Stalker.
Seen the world..................................You could be woman #763!!!
Loves to travel..................................He's moving on in a hurry.
Intellectual.........................................IQ just above room temperature.
Separated...........................................Married.
Divorced.............................................Separated.
Single...................................................Involved
5' 10"...................................................5' 7"
6' 4".....................................................7' 2"
5' 7".....................................................Leprechaun/Tattoo/Gary Coleman

Tatiana


Tatiana is a big dreamer. She's 28 and she's from Ukraine. Meet this girl.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Numbers

*** many thanks to c.vance for sending us this post ****


this is a story of love in numbers.

541 815.3504--- that's my number. used for a great many things.

some women have it programmed into their phone because they know i'm the only one always awake at 03.00; ready with colorful slurs or flattering lies.

some women have it programmed into their phone because they know i'm always awake between 02.00 and 04.00-- when the bars are closed and the only friends i have are cuddled next to people they love --and the flashing ring of my name lets them know no one has died, no one is in trouble... it's a displayed WARNING! HAZARDOUS IF OPENED on the screen of their flip phone. reminders of mistakes made and a lesson learned: never give your number to a drunk.

some acquaintances have used it to ask for $500 bail and a ride out of the cop shop.

some acquaintances have used it to ask for help moving because they fear the man they're moving away from--- standing by the door at 6'3" 200 lbs. to watch over her moving everything, staring down the X and not helping because of a hangover, a bad back and temper waiting for ignition.

most often it is used by creditors asking for $1.000's i don't have.

but, 3 weeks ago, it was used in a new way. it adorned the bottom of a flyer tacked to the middle of a bulletin board at PleasureWorld; a porn shop on 3rd street.

the 1st call was a weekend night-- 02.14 --from a man who had a restricted number and a gruff voice; one of those voices that calls Craigslist adverts looking to buy $5 refrigerators to compliment the other 4 in his yard. either a redneck or a classically trained actor schooled enough to fool these ears bred from South Carolina stock and born in Prineville. called to say:

-Yeah, I'm calling about the add you posted 2 days ago.

-I didn't post an add 2 days ago. You have the wrong number.

not given any thought until the 2nd call, 3 days later, at 16.14. a young man lisped sexual propositions into my phone. graphic; but with a trembling voice that sometimes squeaked. responded:

-I'm flattered, sweetheart, but I think you dialed the wrong number.

-Oh. Oh my Guh-a-od. Stho you din't postht that 1 add?

-What 1 add?

-Oh... I'm stho embarathed. Y'know, that 1 add? At PleaschthureWorld?

-Nope. I don't know. What did that 1 add say?

-Oh. Jezthus. I'm sthO sthorry. It... uhm. It sthaid, "20-sthomething man stheeking company. I'm diztheasthe free but you don't have to be." I'm sthorry, I thought---

-That's funny. And explains the call I got 2 nights ago.

-Oh. Did you... do you know hith number?

that's where i hung up. dialed 411 where a Southern operator told me i had the wrong city and state for DisneyWorld and there were no listed amusement parks in the area. only after spelling it out and yelling:

-It's a porn shop on 3rd street.

did she transfer me to a computer telling me it would dial 5.4.1. 3.1.7.9.7.2.3. for an additional $382.13 or 4 Euros. a woman stopped the ringing by answering with the business name in a voice that made me hope she had good penmanship. said:

-My phone number is 541 815.3504 and I believe someone posted an add down there as a prank. Maybe on a bulletin board?

-Let me see. 3504. 3504. 35--- oh. Yes. Here it is. So, even though this is your number, you didn't post it?

-Yep. Even though it is my number. Can you read it to me?

-Sure. It says, "NEED DICK NOW!" That part is all capitalized. Then it says, "Neat, clean-cut mid-20's male seeks 8" black cock. White cock OK if larger. I'm disease free but you don't need to be. Call: (541) 815-3504." Then it says, "P.S. I'm a bottom." So, you didn't post it? Even though it is your number?

-I did not post it. Even though it is my number.

-Oh. Okay then. I'll take it down. Oh! You know what? I bet 1 of your friends did it! Y'know? To be funny?

-I only have 2 friends and they're... hm. Of a different humor, let's say.

-Oh. Then who would have had your number, then?

this was a story of love in numbers. 541 815.3504 is mine. if you were kind enough to post an advert trying to find me sweet man loving, let me have your number to properly thank you

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Pet Shop Boys - So Hard (David Morales Mixes)


  1. So Hard (12'' Mix)
  2. So Hard (Radio Mix)
  3. So Hard (Red Zone Mix)
  4. So Hard (Eclipse Mix)

One night stand gone wrong

Most women have the occasional low self-esteem low points. Some women live in that space chronically; we call that having “daddy issues.” One of my worst low points wasn’t daddy related, it was wicked painful breakup related.

I went out solo one night, just because I couldn’t stand to be at home alone another night. My cats were starting to look at me like, “Girl, get the fuck out of here, you’re depressing us, and we’re cats. We always mope.”

So I was sitting alone at the bar, and in walks Chester. He looked vaguely familiar, and when he started talking to me, he told me why. Apparently he and I worked together, or at least for the same company. But we were in different departments, on different floors. We’d never met before, so we chatted for awhile, mostly about work.

No point getting into the nitty gritties here, you guys know where this is going. I got drunk. We made out in the park, we went back to his place. We fucked.

The thing is, he had a nice body. Tall, lean, strong, and, well, nice machinery. So in the morning, when he felt randy again and my head was still swimming in Coors Light and Jaeger bombs, I let him go for it again, and he got me off, again.

Then I looked around as morning filled the room, and memories started coming back to me. There, on the wall, was the picture of his daughter. She looked like maybe she had a touch of the down’s Syndrome. There, on the nightstand, was a photo of his girlfriend. She had Sally Jesse Rafael glasses. There, on another wall, was a poster: A wolf on a cliff, howling at a purple moon. And the thing is? I knew it wasn’t ironic.

I remembered how, the night before, he kept calling me sweetheart and asking if I was OK, if I was comfortable. In my wastedness, I giggled at him and asked why, “Well when an angel falls into your lap, you have to do what you can to hold on.”

As all this flooded back, all I could think was Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

So then he rolls over and tries to go down on me, again, which, I admit, I have a hard time turning down, but as sobriety reared its ugly head, I just needed out. I pushed him off, told him I needed a ride home.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? What happened?” he asked. I cringed when I looked over and saw his awful bowl cut. I remembered that he’d been wearing a Doors T-shirt last night. Tucked in.

Jesus Christ.

“I’m sorry, I just need to go,” I said, tearing around his room looking for clothes.

We got in his El Camino (I am NOT making this shit up). He drove me home. In the driveway, he paused, and seemed about ready to ask a question.

“So,” I said, “I don’t think we need to, like, talk about this. And I really don’t need you to tell anyone at work.”

“What, really? Just one night? That’s it?”

I felt like I was the man. And what I wanted to say was: “One night stand, pal, what do you think that means?”

What I said was: “Chester, you have a girlfriend.”

He nodded, but then tried to tell me again that they were on the outs.

“Nope, I’m sorry. I’ll see you around. Bye.”

I still see him at work from time to time. In the parking lot, or in the hallway. I try to avert my eyes, or just say, “hello,” in the exact same tone I use with all the people I don’t know, but he always smiles brightly. Wistfully, even.

I wonder if he’s told anyone sometimes. But then I think that even if he did, they probably wouldn’t believe him.

State of the Date Report

An online dating service rarely discussed swinger in the news is making a splash with the release of its first annual "State of the Date" report.

Engage.com is an online teen dating service that uses friends and an online social environment in order to match people together. This week, Engage.com released the results of a major survey it did on the attitudes of singles.

The survey found that...

- 68% of singles are interested in falling in love and getting married in the next five years.

- 12% of singles believe it is appropriate to break up with someone via email or text message.

- 21% of singles think it is acceptable to first say "I love you" via email or text message.

- 30% of men believe it is OK to tell "little white lies" in their online dating profile.

- 24% of women believe it is OK to tell "little white lies" in their online dating profile.

- 22% of singles didn't go on a date in 2007.

- 49% of single women say they never have to pay for a date.

- 10% of singles say they dated someone last year that was either married or in a committed relationship.

For the survey, more than 600 adult swingers in the United States were selected at random. Engage.ciom plans on releasing a new report every year.

Source: http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/news2008/stateofthedate.html

Monday, October 18, 2010

Vicarious sex

Not getting any, but have an active fantasy life? Or do you like the idea of porn, but think all that ACTUAL humping is a little freaky? Check out this hipster fad, AIR SEX competitions. It's exactly what it sounds like.

This video is not work safe:



I know a lot of our readers are Oregonians, so how lucky are we that Portland is hosting its very own Air Sex competition this Saturday night at Berbatis. Please go, take video, and send it our way. Because that shizz is hilarious.

Savage - Don't Cry Tonight


  1. Don't Cry Tonight
  2. Don't Cry Tonight (Instrumental Version)
  3. Don't Cry Tonight (Rap In The Night) (Remix '89)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

How to Check Out Indian American Singles


Attempting to help American singles find love, the popular marriage portal for Indian singles launched a way to verify the profiles of other singles.

BharatMatrimony.com has named this new system, Veriprofile, and it will help all Indian American singles check that what other singles write about themselves is true. This service is a combination of an online and offline system and it can be accessed at the major Indian cities.

How Does it Work?

  1. Click on the link named Veriprofile near the profile of particular Indian American single you are interested in checking out.
  2. The system will then contact that single and tell them that someone wants to verify their profile. Note that your identity will not be handed over.
  3. They will then have to agree or disagree. If they disagree, you receive an answer that those singles are not interested in their details being checked. But If they agree, they are sent to fill out their details on an online form.
  4. Bharat Matrimony's Verification Agency checks out these details and you will receive an answer in up to seven days. Note that both Indian American singles will receive the report.

Who is Bharat Matrimony?

They are one of the more popular online dating services that cater to Indian singles. Their reach is vast and they have fourteen regional portals as well as more than two million of registered singles. You will be able to find Indian American singles but also other Indians interested in marriage.

Sandra - Hiroshima


  1. Hiroshima (Single Version)
  2. Hiroshima (Extended Version)
  3. Hiroshima (Dub Mix)
  4. Heaven Can Wait (US-Remix)

Friday, October 15, 2010

Free Online Dating Service at Social Networking Sites

Here are a few suggestions how you can use the power of social networking sites to expand your potential dating contacts.
1. Use a chat room - All these kinds of sites will have a chat feature, chat rooms or one on one chat online, is a great way to make that initial contact in a safe anonymous way, and a way in which you can decide who is interesting to you and which contacts you may wish to take further.

2. Form or join an interest group - On your chosen dating site there will be groups of people with special interests that you can join and meet up with like minded people online, and if there isn't one that you like you can always start your own.

3. Explore friendship first - When you find people with whom you feel compatible it doesn't always mean you will be compatible for romance. If you start with the attitude that you are just trying to connect with new people, many of your contacts may turn into great social acquaintances or friends. By not ruling people out, just because you don't see that instant romantic spark, you will truly enhance your social life and who knows things can change and it may lead you to that special someone.

4. Be polite and open minded - It is possible you will receive a message from another member that you feel is not worth taking the time to write a response. If you take that extra couple of minutes to write a short reply, you never know where that contact may lead. It is possible that by being open minded, that other member could prove to be helpful by introducing you to someone else, or by helping you network for career advancement. You never know, so it never hurts to be polite.

Social networking sites are great places to meet new people, do not be too focused on meeting a romantic partner Keep an open mind, and use the comprehensive features available on the site ou will will expand your social network. Who knows where that will lead, have fun! First dates are expected to be fun, exciting and with the atmosphere of just getting to know the other person better. It should not be a time to rigidly screen the other person if he is the perfect match for you, so it is important to carefully pick dating conversation topics that will not ruin the date. Of course, who will not get excited with a first date? You have probably spent hours to do your hair, carefully select what dress you will be most attractive on, or tried on a different perfume.

The guys probably spent a lot of time in front of the mirror. Then when you finally sit face to face on the dinner table, he would suddenly comment about the last time he and his ex-girlfriend visited that restaurant - that could be the end of it. There are actually lots of things that you can talk about on the first date. You can talk about hobbies, about what happened during the day or you can feast on some issues about celebrities. Most often, it just takes a little common sense to know the good dating conversation topics, and those that are not really appropriate as well.

However, if you want to be reminded of this deadly dating conversation topics that should be avoided on your first date, you might want to refresh your memory on the no-no's on your first date. The obvious topics that you should not bring up on your first date include racist comments or jokes, religion, politics (could be too serious and boring for a date), gruesome topics like rape, death or torture. Of course, this should be first on the list. Do not start the evening by telling her about the last time you were in that restaurant with your ex. Forget about your past lovers. Do not think your date will be proud if you talk about who you went out with and how many.

Also avoid any discussions on sex. There are lots of things you can ask your date other than this. Also avoid telling your date about some problems at work or some financial problems you had. First dates are suppose to be fun. Do not also attempt to bring out topics about how much money one makes. You can ask about jobs but forget about probing into their pocketbooks. Hobbies and interests are good online dating conversation topics during the first date but do not anymore bring up topics that are understood only by a few people or those highly specialized topics like that latest version of computer games you had or that sci-fi movie. Aside from the topics that you should avoid talking about on your first date, there are also things that you should avoid doing on the first date. Saying 'I love you' on the first date could be a big turnoff. If you are a business-minded person, forget about selling your product to your date, and even if first dates are meant to be in a getting-to-know-you stage, do not talk too much about yourself and what you have achieved in life. In dating, it is important to listen as well.

Sorces : MyFoxOrlando.com

Spice Girls - Wannabe


  1. Wannabe (Radio Edit)
  2. Bumper To Bumper
  3. Wannabe (Vocal Slam)
  4. Wannabe (Dub Slam)
  5. Wannabe (Dave Way Alternative Mix)
  6. Wannabe (Instrumental)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Regarding Fatties

Dear Serial Monogamist,

So, I've entered the wonderful world of internet dating (and yes, I know, I should submit something of my own to DIW and I will do so after having a few liaisons under my belt). Anyway, so far so blech. Not a lot out there on the interwebs, at least not on the sites I've visited.

Anyway, I've gotten a few conversations going and then asked for a pic. Upon receipt of said pic, I've immediately been, like, "nope." I want to be really clear, and I'm not into lying, so in my next email I say "I just don't see it. Good luck to you." Since you're a member of the fairer sex, what do you think about how I'm responding? Yes, its entirely based on their uglyness, or extreme fat-itude, but oh well. I'm not just looking to date a nice person, I also want someone at least somewhat hot and I'm not going to pursue anything with people that aren't at least a 7 out of 10 on my personal scale.

Thanks,

Mr. Rodgers



Dear Mr. Rodgers,

OK, let’s start out with some linguistics.

I think you would be well-advised to be careful about using terms like “the fairer sex.” You know, like, um, EVER.

See, Fred, I know you’re not trying to get into my panties, at least not at the moment, but nonetheless, “The fairer sex?” I mean, when you use language like that, you’re likely to come off sounding like either:

A) That jerkoff with a goatee who tries to sound all ironic all of the time but who really just ends up giving away in a sarcastic, “who really believes this garbage?” tone what it is that he really thinks of women, namely, that we’re hyper-sensitive, weak-willed, and prone to hysteria (which, if you’re dipping your hairy little toes in internet dating, you’re only MORE apt to believe)

B) Some sort of renaissance fair guy who is, at this very moment, wearing crushed velvet pantaloons and drinking something you call “grog” that is really only apple cider mixed with Monarch rum, a guy who thinks it’s sexy to talk down to women so that it'll be this big fucking surprise later when you admit you just want to get tied up in a dungeon somewhere, but: Hey! It's no shocker! Your cat is named Azrael! We saw this one coming, dude.

or C) Some guy who just trying his honest-to-joe-sixpack-best to make a throwaway joke.

Even if the answer’s C, why’s it worth the risk of being seen as A or B? It’s not. I guess the moral of this particular rant is this, Freddie: Don’t talk down to me as an opener. Which, I guess, brings us on to the current topic.

Don’t string the fatties and the uggies along. There are dudes out there who can, and will, love some bigole chubba rolls and even a brilliant goddess with a cleft palate.

But: It ain’t you, babe. If you really feel bad about telling them off just after you get the photo, then try to get one more email with content out of them, and then suggest it’s something in that email that turned you off their fatty-ugg-ass-scent.

She’ll know anyway. But why put you both through the awkwardness of the in-person meetup before turning them down for being such hags? It’s painful, it’s pointless. Let their humiliation be electronic.

You also never said whether or not you were attractive. Maybe all you have to do is send a pic of yourself back to the ug-trons. Maybe then you’ll be the one getting the “yeah, I don’t see it, good luck,” e-mails.

Stranger things have happened in this neighborhood.

Love,
Serial




Got a question for Serial Monogamist? Just want to tell her to shut the crap up? E-mail her at seriallymonogamous[at]gmail[dot]com.

Or not. Who needs you?